Okay..I am so sorry I haven't updated in a while.
Anyways I shall now update you with my life...

White bread, these days I'm really enjoying white bread.  Usually I was always a wholemeal type of person, but something about white bread these days has been grabbing a hold on my tastebuds.. It's as if white bread has this extra satisfying cruch you know, that wholemeal bread just cant compare with.  I would like to thankiloveinky for this wonderful discovery.  It started when I went to Gen's house...can't remember when but the time before the last time I went and we ate peanut butter on white bread..it was good and satisfyingly crunchy!

Okay completely contrasting the last journal entry, everything is going absolutely perfectly with Tim!!!!  That last journal entry was seriously the last time we had an argument, and since then we have never fought!!!  I think that last argument was the because of the whole after one month thing when u start finding out the bad sides of the people u are dating.  Mine is that Tim is 100% brutally honest to the point where he doesn't think before he speaks sometimes.  But now that I'm use to it, it doesn't actually bother me a great deal, in fact I prefer it because I always believe him that he is honest to me and I never have any doubts at all about anything like I had with Jinho.
Also Tim is so sexy! I lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeee himmmm!!!! LOL I know I've promised to post pictures but I never got around to it!! I will today tho~
DAMN I GOTTA FREAKING UPLOAD IT ONTO PHOTOBUCKET OR SOMETHING!!! BLOODY HELL!! Hes the one in the grey long top :)









^ Tim When drunk LOL this is the first night I met him LOL


^ This is also from the first night I met him.

These last few weeks over the holidays have been major *hate to say the word* hectic!!!

I'll start backwards from yesterday:
Friday 3rd July:
I pretty much spent the day doing nothing much.  I was meant to go out with Crystal and chinky_angel  but it didn't work out due to bad organisation hahaha.  Anyways I was still productive! I cleaned my room a bit, talked to tim on the phoneee, learnt gee, got out of work for next sun so i can meet tims mother (ohhhhh help me), and most importantly........STARTED ORGANISING KOREA WITH chinky_angel!!!!! Omg I am SOOOO EXCITED!!!!!! So we now have ideas of dates, and have done research for cheap flights woo!!

Thurs 2nd July:
Went out with Tim to the city~  First he had to do some Tafe stuff.  Yes after quitting uni coz he hated mechanical engineering, he has finally decided what he wants to do and is now gonna get doing it yay!  Then we went for lunch.  We went to a Japanese restaurant it was sooo nice he had kaisen don or something and I had some udon thingo which was really nice but we shared both! YAY!! it was yummy!!!  Then we went looking for some Korean accountant thingo and it was really funny coz this huge korean family came in the lift with us and they were talking korean and i was like they are sooo talking about me...i can feel it!!!! And then as soon as me and tim got out of the lift he goes "Those koreans were talking about you!!!  Saying you have big eyes" hahahaha
Then we went in search for the rta.......and on the way there, we had to pass where my mum works and i was like be careful around herre, whenever i'm here in the city I always bump into my mum (my parents don't know yet).  And he was like chillax~ Its like 2...her lunch break is already finished and i was like still~  don't hold my hand right now, but then he was being all gay and like u know touching me even more and i was like heyyyyy be carefullLL!!!  My mum might be here!!!!  Then luckily i decided to read the map to the rta and so he had to let go of me and as we were going around the corner who should i bump into but MY MOTHER!!!!!  All I have to say is thank GOODNESS we weren't holding hands or anything.  I went into danger mode - act like everything is normal and natural...tims danger mode was...jump 5 meters away from talyssa!!! LOL it was SO funny coz i was like hii mum this is my friend tim *turns around to find him 5 meters away from me* way to not seem suspicious tim aish!  And then my mum says hi to him and he BOWS TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!1 HAHAHA I was thinking timmmm my mum isn't Koreannn u don't need to bow to her hahahha he looked so uncomfortable and scared lol.
Some of my most favourite times with Tim are on the way home from the city either on the bus and train.  Because it's so cute...like the way he holds me...and when I fall asleep whilst on the bus or train and he falls asleep with me...or he strokes my face a lot but in such a nice wayyyy and gives me little kisses and holds my hand whilst I'm sleeping..I'm really happy at those times :D:D
HAHA and we have this really funny kiss we do...its called the grandma kiss hahahhaha basically we suck in out lips like u know when old people dont have their denches in and then we go in for a kiss!! ITS SO FUNNY HAHAHHAHAHAHA

Wednesday 1st July:
I went out today with fi_chan  to let out all our asian needs, first we ate Korean - we shared bulgogi and kimbap it was yummmy!! Then we went to purikura and took an awesome set of sticker photos!!!!!! And finally we finished with karaoke woo!! That was funnnnn!!!! and we also visited a korean sueprmarket to stock up on some korean goods! yummm~  YAY!! It was a fun day...fionas already written it all up in her journal and so u can read it there~

Tuesday 30th June:
Today was celebration of 100 days with tim...although it was last week we couldnt celebrate it until this week due to assignments etc He came over to my house in the morning and i made him pancakes~ it turned out really nice i made this really nice strawberry sauce like the one at pancakes on the rocks to go with it and some ice cream and of course fresh strawberries it was really nice.  Then we went to Towers and watched Transformers.

Monday 29th June
I really cant remember what I did today....Ohh wait i bought ingredients for tim tomorrow, learnt more gee and was productive..i think lol

Sunday 28th June
Workkk

Saturday 27th June
Spent the day with Alex.  Twas good seeing her we caught up on goss and made pancakes (practicing for tim). Yeah it was good///and i really cbb to write anymore LOL I shall stop here

byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

More Photos:


^ Pancakes I made for Tim for out 100 days


^ recent sticker photos...no matter what I never succeed in being able to look good in them

Hiiii So I was tagged to do this quiz so yeah here it is!!


a. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
b. Tag six people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

1. What type of food do you like most?
Korean and Japanese...and spanish and indian...

2. How do you style your hair?
Usually out, with some sort of fringe, short layers and thinned at the bottom...always lonnnng~  I either straighten it or curl it.

3. What is making you happy right now?
hmmmmmmmmmmm my friends definitely, just the fact that I'm on holidays and there is no uni!  And for some reason, just the fact that this year is ending, and a new one is beginning, I dunno its like hope and the chance to say a big goodbye to 2008 officially the shittiest year of my life!!!

4. What are you currently reading?
I just finished re-reading Twilight after the horrible horrible movie experience.  On the plane to Mauritius I plan to read some  fanfics kindly given to me by  jicazekushi 

5. Do you need music to study/write?
No I don't... sometimes music distracts me coz I really like singing to it.

6. What was the last book you read?
Befoe TWilight I read some fanfics./...Banana Pancakes and aa book on fairy tales...lolll

7. What was your first car?
Haven't got one yet!!!  But I hope to get my P's by next July

8. Do you have a crush at the moment?
No, truthfully I'm pretty anti guy right now...bunch of F**king losers they are as Boyfriends...of course NOT ALL GUYS...but majority are like Bulls (I got this from a movie called something like you) all they want to do is have "fun" and this most likely also includes having sex with a girl and then they are tired of them and are ready to move to another girl and they will never, ever go back to the original girl..Bunch of freaking little...

9. What is your favorite movie genre?
Comedy and romance!!!

10. What was the last thing you ate today?
Baked Beans on toast LOL SURPRISINGLY they dont make me fart hahaha

11. What’s your morning routine?
wake up...read...turn on computer and start up internet, eat something and get ready, come back to computer and do all necessary things...

12. What websites do you visit daily?
email...cyworld..yess shamefully yes...thats really about it that I do everyday

13.What kind of relationship do you want?
Like Edward and Bella...I know right AS IF GUYS LIKE EDWARD EVEN FREAKING EXIST!!!

14. Which languages do you wish you spoke?
Japanese, Korean,

15. What do you want for Christmas?
Well I don't get a Christmas this year since I'll be on a plane lol...ummm I dunno what I want haha

16. What are you daydreaming about right now?
Meeeting a guy who is amazingly and falling in love

17. Who are you current favourite artistes?
Big Bang!!!!! but i have heaps of others I like, but right now I'm obsessed with those guys

18. Where would you like your next holiday to be?
Korea!! And Japan!!!!!!!

19. What was the last dream you remember having?
Omg last night...I watched Criminal investigations Australia and they were doing it on Ivan Malak, the  psychopath that killed all those backpackers...and I had really bad dreams of myself in their position and thinking about ways I could escape...*sigh* freakin kept me up most of the night...

20. Tell me something you love about the person who tagged you.
fi_chan??  Love??? nothing... LOL JOKE ummm i love how she is always there to listen when I have problems and she always gives awesome advice as well and makes me feel better...also, we've had a friendship since yr 8...thats another thing to love!!!!


I tag....

chinky_angel , obedientbelle , jicazekushi , and anyone else.....LOL

It's strange when you wake up in the Morning and you don't feel angry anymore....

So...from now on

Talyssa is in Love

Omg... I just booked twilight tickets!! woo!! I'm going to see it Thursday night with chinky_angel and various other school friends YAY!!! I hope it's goooood!!! 

Yes the reason why i decided to book tickets online...is because I got a shock when i checked online and saw HALF THE CINEMA WAS BOOKED OUT!!! so I went into panic mode...anyways we booked it yay!! GOSH i didn't think it'd be that popular...like i knew itd be popular but not that popular.  ALL the sessions for the day were virtually booked out!!!

SO yeah...i cant remember why i decided to write this journal entry.....i had a funny thought today which i was like ooooh I should write that in my journal...but alas...it has escaped me.

I'm really enjoying the increase in the amount I am able to download every month...seriously...like...love. AND it's basically all for me wee!!! I love BigBang weee!!!

Umm yeah...I'm surpirsed...Jun replies to emails so quickly!!!  It's really nice having a guy penpal...like writing emails haha it's cute..and he very often replies on the same day!!! It makes me feel like hes really eager to talk hahaha and I can't explain his personality, its like cool, confident and like hmm I dunno it's different but good ^^

I kinda wanna ask him for a photo...just to put like...name to face (OKAYYY AND ALSO TO SEE IF HES CUTE LOL) but another part of me is like...I dunno it's just nice and I'm content on just talking to him without knowing his appearance.

And he called me taly! Lolllll okay i know i hate it when friends call me tal etc but with him its cute hahaha okay maybe I'm just exicted he called me a nickname coz its like,, friends and he wants to be closer friends haha

MOST OF ALL....HE wants to see TWILIGHT!!!! AMAZING YAYYYY!!!!!!

heres his most recent email:


SEEE it's cool!! we talk about cool things hahaha~  it's funn!!!!!!

너를 기다리는 동안
-황지우

네가 오기로 한 그 자리에
내가 미리 가 너를 기다리는 동안
다가오는 모든 발자국은
내 가슴에 서성거린다.
바스락거리는 나뭇잎 하나도 다 내게 온다.
기다려 본 적이 있는 사람은 안다.
세상에서 기다리는 일처럼 가슴 설레는 일 있을까
네가 오기로 한 그 자리, 내가 미리 와 있는 이 곳에서
문을 열고 들어오는 모든 사람이
너였다가
너였다가, 너일 것이었다가
다시 문이 닫힌다.
사랑하는 이여,
오지 않는 너를 기다리며
마침내 나는 너에게 간다.
아주 먼 데서 나는 너에게 가고
아주 오랜 세월을 다하여 너는 지금 오고 있다.
아주 먼 데서 지금도 천천히 오고 있는 너를
너를 기다리는 동안 나도 가고 있다.
남들이 열고 들어오는 문을 통해
내 가슴에 서성거리는 모든 발자국 따라
너를 기다리는 동안 나는 너에게 가고 있다.

 

While I am waiting for you
-Hwang, Ji-wu

While I'm waiting for you, my dear
At the place we promised to meet,
Every footprint that comes near
Stays in my heart, and makes it beat.
So do the leaves that're rustling.
Those who've waited for someone knows
Nothing excites them but waiting.
I'm at the place where you will come;
Each stranger who opens the door, and enter
Is you,
Is you, looks like you,
And then closes the door, again.
Oh, my dear,
Waiting for your arrival, which takes forever,
I head for where you are at long last.
I come to you, walking a long distance;
You come to me, taking every year.
I'm coming to you, while waiting for you
Who's still coming at a snail's pace.
Through the door strangers open,
And via all the traces in my heart,
I'm coming to you, while waiting.

*sigh* I will never understand guys...they are just too different from girls

Today I woke up with a excruciating sore throat due to karaoke yesterday hahaha. I've never had such a sore throat before from karaoke, but then again I've never done karaoke for 3 hours straight haha it was fun none the less (is that one word) bleh~ whatever.

Karaoke leads me into the story of my day yesterday hooray!! twas quite fun! I went out withchinky_angel  and crystal to the city for a curry adventure,  we ate at this awesome looking Indian restaurant, and everything was de-li-cious, minus the disappointing butter chicken. Then after this we went to glebe markets, I'm not really a market person but it was okay (highly overpriced tho ISN"T A MARKET SUPPOSE TO HAVE CHEAP STUFF?!?!?!?!) then we headed off to karaoke huzzah!!  Our room was sooo freaking big!!!  seriously you could fit a queen sized bed in there or something and we did that for the next 3 hours wee~

After this, crystal had to leave to go to a party with friends (i think) and so me and michelle decided to have dinner at a korean restaurant....man...there is something about korean men that I REALLY LIKE!!!!!!!!!! I can't decide what it is but I like it!!!!  Anywayssss lol so there was tv on with some korean show and me and michelle were like OHHHH I HOPE THEY PLAY BIG BANG AND DBSK!!!! seriously i dunno just something was just sooo cool about it and and yeah...so we spent most of our time waiting performace after performance, and as it was getting closer for us to leave BIG BANG CAME ON!!! OMG I was like dying I dunno why but i was just like OMG I LOVE YOU

AND OKAY...I use to really not think TOP was hot....BUT HE IS FRICKEN SO SEXY NOW OMG like seriously hes like bad boy gangsta sexy...seriously...I just wanna surrender to him or something LOLLllllLLLL XDXD and als G-dragon Love him too omg they are sooo gorgeoussss okay I wanna put pics in LOL



omg they are so cute omg omg omg I LOVE YOU hahaha



I know I always usually go for the "good guy" type...but TOPs bad boyness is realllly HOT!!!!!!!!! Loook how hot he looks!!!! omggg hes gorgeoussssss 



Loook at his eyesss awww I love themmmmmmmmmmm

Okay now for sommeee cute G Dragon!!



omg he is soo cute look at his smile!!  however I can see some people thinking this is a bad photo..i reckon its cuttteee!!!



he looks sexy here heheheh



omgggggg isn't he sooo cute?!!?!?!?  Don't you just want to squish him!!! AAAAWWWW JI YONG I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

aww aww I love them yay yay

And lastly my news............I GOT A REPLY FROM ONE OF THE KOREAN GUYS I PENPAL ADDED *stalked*
His name is Jun and he's 22.  And he's currently in the army LOL he seems really niceeeee and I sent him a reply and he literally replied to me like an hour after I sent it LOL!!!! YAY~~~

sooooo...yesterday i forgot to tell you all that i got checked for skincancer, I've been meaning to do it for a while because I have a few spots on me that keep growing so yeah...anyways turns out I'm safe! LOL Nothing was wrong with me which is a relief, i'm glad I got them checked. It was akward tho coz the doctor was a guy and the first thing he said to me was "So are you going to get down to ur bra and nickers" and I was like.."um what!?" and then was like "err...no they are mostly on my face and shoulders" I dunno i kinda found that weird LOL maybe he was trying to make the whole process less awkward if i did have to get completely undressed.....this leads me to think about pap smears...one day I'm going to have to get one...but omg they just seem so awkward!

Anyways, i did some quizzes online which i found from chinky_angel LJ lol then being the good friend i am I shared them with my good friend fi_chan AND THEY WERE VERY ACCURATE!!!! particularly the castle one

The Castle Personality Test

You are a bit tentative when it comes to new experiences. You have to push yourself to try new things, but once you do, you love the adventure. You like to think that people are impressed by you. You know that you have a lot to offer. You are a very romantic person. You can't help but see the world as it should be. Right now, stress occasionally makes you feel trapped in your life. You usually have a clear perspective on things though! Overall, your life is calm and steady. Not much stirs you, and each day is full of joy. You feel like the fate of the future partially rests in your hands. You believe you need to help make the world a better place.

You Are An INFP

The Idealist You are a creative person with a great imagination. You enjoy living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close to you. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards. You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings. At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

I'd have to say those were reallly accurate

SO I totally thought I had flunked out in Uni this semester...because I wasn't doing nearly as good and because of all the Jinho stuff that made me put off all my assignments coz really I just didn't want to do anything...I also think that I haven't really been myself for the most of this semester... So I really thought I would only pass my two media subjects instead I got Distinctions!!! all up I got a HD, D, D and a Cr which was only a mark off another D T_T  But seriously I am so happy that I got that at least!  This semester was seriously hard for me...I took days off uni to do assignments when I just ended up crying the whole day because of Jinho...so yes I am happy it's like a big

Screw you!!!! muahahahhahahaha

In other news....the Korean penpals that I decided to make...haven't contacted me back yet T-T I feel upsetttt and unloved....maybe they are just busy with uni and haven't checked their mail....or maybe they've received it but are waiting until the weekend until they can reply.. 

It's also quite strange how I have been...updating this journal a lot more lol...

Events I am excited for :
~ Upcomming Curry Adventure with michelle and crystal
~ Seeing HSM3 at the cinema's with Michelle
~ Seeing Twilight at the cinemas...again with Michelle hahhaa
~ Asian drama/anime/boyband day with Michelle and Katherine YAY!!

Yes, so I have modified my layout once again....I have to say I am happier with this one because it shows the nav bar at the top and also shows my mood pics!!!  HOWEVER there is still a lot I need to fix...some little things people cant really see like link hovers or text etc etc But i cant be bothered to do that right now LOL

Oh yeah I am over the last post
OMG HARU HARU CAME ON MY PLAYLIST YAY!!! FRICKEN LOVE THAT SONG OMG!!!!!
anyways I realise that its the week before err...my period lol and so I get overly emotional

Anyways LOL i shamelessly went back on students of the world AND I MADE FRIENDS WITH MALE KOREAN PENPALS!!! but they liked snail mail and i wanna send snail mail!!  I hope they reply to me yay!!
 

LOOK I NEEDED TO FEEL LOVED OKAY!

OKAY OKAY!!!!!

Like what the helll!! Okay

So I checked Jinho's cyworld...yes i know I am sad...very sad...considering I do check it everyday! *cries* I feel so embarrassed and pathetic to admit that T_T T_T GAHHHHHHHHHHH  I hate him because he makes me hate myself like wtf is wrong with HIM GAH!!! *mental stab mental stab*

ANYWAYS!! So I read his latest cyworld entry and he wrote...in english:

<i>"I don't want you to wait that long
 I am still insecure
 anyways,
 you can leave if you want"</i>

WTF!?  I don't even know if he is referring to me or someone else...but I *think* it's me...but then I'm like who am I to think that he is still concerned about me, I mean it could be anyone...

Okay in analysing.... the first and second line seem to refer to me...but the you can leave if you want confuses me and makes me feel like he may not be referring to me....Like what does "you can leave if you want" mean??  It doesn't really refer to me at all.... AND actually why didn't he tell me earlier not to wait that long...why is he saying this now?!  Don't you think this is kinda pointless NOW like wtf?!  Maybe he actually isn't talking about me!!!  AND WTF is there to be insecure about YOU FOOL!!!! Hes the one with his psycho "my girlfriend must be korean problem"  and really if he is insecure about his feelings they wtf (in this instance it means why the f**k) did he ask me to have sex with him...fricken hell I AM ABOUT MEANING AND SERIOUSNESS AND LOVE for those type of things!!  OBVIOUSLY I WOULD TELL HIM NO!!! He should know that I'm not like that...

Actually I can write a reply message back....but
1. I'd look like a real tool if he wasn't talking about me
2. hed probs get pissed if it was me and all his korean friends saw that "OH NO he actually loved a white girl?!?!! BLASPHEMY!!"
3. I said i wouldn't be the one to communicate with him...he can come to me this time!!!! I'm sick of giving in.

So ummm guys....what do you think??!!?  HELP HELP!!!

AND WHO IS HE TO THINK THAT I AM STILL WAITING!!! Sure maybe I may kinda still like him and be very upset by him and hate him and now have some evil vandetta (sp?) against Korean men being racist when it comes to relationships...ANd you kno what if you are some random reading my journal and thinks I'm being racist then you can GET LOST coz seriously you have NO idea what it feels like... but actually I'm not waiting for him.  If a relationship comes across and I actually like somene then I will start that relationship and be committed.  I am NOT WAITING FOR HIM!  I'm not even going to meet him in Korea because I'm not even going to tell him when I'm going and MOST of all I'm not actually go there FOR HIM!  I'm going for myself, to meet my idols, grab merchandise, fashion it up and hve an AMAZING time with my friends.  So therefore I am not waiting for him.

Anyways helllllpppp meee analyse LOL

Okay so i finally designed a new LJ layout yayyyy!!!! i have to say tho the BigBang graphic is not my best but ohhhh wellls!! And some parts have stuffed up but i can't be bothered to go through the coding erghhh.... But still I'm happy happy happy.  And it was fun to graphic design again yay~

What else..Oh yeah i tried my new outfit (the one i explained last entry) at the RSL the other night and I got compliments on it!! by randoms!!! They were like "i really like your look" referring to the socks and shoes...I was like yay! haha

Another joyous thing i discovered was that I know how 10 gigs of downloads per month !!!!! YAY!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! As opposed to 2 gigs per month! YAY!!!! THINK OF EVERYTHING I COULD DOWNLOAD!!! Which is why i am currently download Bigbang on star king lol I wish there were subs tho! none the less I'm sure it will be delightful!

Soooo Friday was my birthday, yes yes Happy Birthday to me!~
and can you believe!  Jinho didn't even say happy birthday!!  GRRRRRR WHAT A FREAKING LIL @#Y@*$*#%(*U#()*!@#*!()#*@($
(that is a string of swear words if anyone was confused.)  I mean I remembered his...it was hard coz i suck at remembering birthdays and I probably can't remember it now but like I put reminders on my phone and stuff to make sure I'd wish him happy birthday...why?? WHY YOU SAY!??!  Because I am a NICE PERSON!~

And what's his deal with all his "i want to keep you" "you are my Australia" business and promising things if he's just gonna cut all connection with me...like everything was FINE before I went to Melbourne he just decided upon himself...maybe he took my leaving cyworld as negative...but seriously I felt like I didn't belong on cyworld, and it's not like he was my boyfriend anymore...and I had what...like 2 friends?

Even though that was a bit of a rant, I am actually quite content and happy right now...*points to mood* oh yeah thats another thing...this new layout got rid of my MYV mood pics T_T

This may be the first post that I have ever done that is actually not going to be a rant about something LOL

So today..i woke up at 11:30 am I was sooo tired from my two days with Annabelle hehe, then i watched Dr phil and oprah and then i was productive and practiced piano...and finally, the inspiration which led me to this post...my makeup/look experimentation!!!! From here, It also led me to my wishlist taa daaa!!

My make-up today was awesome!! I tried two styles, firstly a bright colourful style (I'd show pictures but I can't find my camera battery charger..(so I'll have to wait a bit for the battery to come back for a few seconds before it dies again) Anyways the style went from a blue/green colour to a dark got pink to a purple colour..and it looked awesome!!!!! I even got the liquid eyeliner on the top perfect. For the bottom, I mirrored the colours on the top, really close to my eyeline at the bottom. then on the waterline, halfway I applied black eyeliner (from the outer corner of my eye) and then for the other half to the inner corner of my eye I applied blue eyeliner...IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!

For my second style, I tried an ulzzang style - yeah I know I don't have asian eyes, but i still recreated it in a way that suited caucasian eyes as well. This look was also accompanied by an outfit I threw together which looked AMAZING!! I now know EXACTLY what to wear for my next clubbing thingo WOO! Okay I wont explain the ulzzang makeup much because most people know the look, but my outfit i shall explain. Firstly the main part was this brown dress I brought from SES on Monday. It's kinda a slight vintage style, the top breastal (lol) part is like a crisscross tartan pattern and in the middle there are 3 buttons and the bottom half of the dress (the skirt part) is a plain brown colour. For my hair, I slightly waved it, which really suited my ulzzang makeup a lot!! it wasn't too curly, it was mostly straight with the ends flicking a bit. Then I put in my new scarf which Annabelle brought me (YAY! THANK YOUU) AND THAT LOOKED AMAZING!!! IT FIT SO WELL OMG!!! So i was like well if that works so will the antique looking earings annabelle also bought me AND IT LOOKED AMAZING (THANK YOU AGAIN ANNABELLE) then finally, the perfect closure to such an awesome looking outfit was the shoes...firstly I tried on my tanned high heels (they have lace on the sides and a bow on the top) but it felt like something was missing and i was like SOCKS!!! So I looked in my old socks (this idea was inspired once again by annabelle LOL) you kno those socks you wore when u were a little girl that had frills at the top? Well I found the PERFECT PAIR OF THOSE!! They were just what I was looking for!! I didn't want them too high, I wanted them kinda low and anyways so I put them on and they not only had the frill on the rim, but when u folded them down, then had this ribbon/lace and bow thing on each side omg they were gorgeous and then that, combined with my shoes, dress, hair, hair scarf, makeup, jewelery LOOKED SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! weee!!!!!!!!!!

and yeah i cbb to post up my wishlist lol

anyways that is all
I LOVE MY HOLIDAYS YAY!!

Okay so I thought i'd write a list of things i wanna do in the holidays so I dont forget everything:

**This is a work in progress and is most likely to be continually updated**

1. graphic design icons, wallpapers, banners etc
2. Join forums for asian stars.
3. Learn how to realistically CG
4. Improve realistic drawing skills
5. Improve anime drawing and digital colouring skills
6. Make a graphics website and/or a deviant art.
7. Learn piano songs..in particular:
- finish At the Beginning
- Angry young man
- randomly browse other interesting songs
8. Complete FFX and FFX-2 (yess i know!! i blame the lack of time!!)
9. Style hair in cool ways/research new cuts and colours.
10. Try out make up techniques from that girl
11. FASHION CUSTOMISATION AND LOOK!!!
12. Of course going out a lot etc etc.
13. Send parcel to Ji Eun in korea.
14. Become obsessed with Big Bang
15. Watch Japanese dramas!!

So I stole this from one of my communities, cheers coz I am sooo bored right now..and procrastinating..


Appearance:

I am 5'4 or shorter. i dont know what that is..i'm 160 cm
I think I'm ugly sometimes. doesn't everyone have bad days like that..
I have many scars.
I tan/BURN easily.
I wish my hair was a different colour.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I've had braces.
I wear glasses.
I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles. they aren't noticeable but i have small ones on the bridge of my nose.

Family/Home Life:

I've sworn at my parents.
I've been kicked out of the house.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I've lost a child.

Embarrassment:

I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry. disney is love
I've snorted while laughing.
I've laughed so hard I've cried.
I've glued my hand to something.
I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. it hurts...
I've had my pants rip in public.

Health:

I was born with a disease/impairment.
I've had stitches.
I've broken a bone.
I've had my tonsils removed.
I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I've had a serious surgery.
I've had chicken pox.

Traveling:

I've driven or ridden over 200 miles in one day.
I've been on a plane.
I've been to Canada. no but i have cousins who live there..
I've been to Niagara Falls.
I've been to Japan. OMG I SO WANNA GO THERE!!!!!!!
I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I've been to Europe.
I've been to Africa.
I've been to France.

Experiences:

I've been lost in my city.
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.
I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing.
I've been in a play.
I've met someone from the Internet in person.
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern Lights.
I've sat on a rooftop at night. i really wanna do that
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone.
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten sushi. yummm
I've been snowboarding.

Relationships:

I'm single.
I'm in a relationship.
I'm available.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now. i seriously can't tell if its miss..
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've been divorced.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality:

I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.
I've kissed a member of the same gender.
I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
I've had sex with someone of the same gender.
I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
I am a cuddler.
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've had sex outdoors.
I've hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime:

I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't. always...
I have lied to my parents about where I am. if u had my parents ud understand
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test. but then i ended up realising the guy was wrong so I did what i thought and tried to tell him, but he didn't believe me..anyways i ended up getting everything correct hahahaha
I've run a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've shoplifted. when i was little!!! i didn't know any better!!

Drugs/Alcohol:

I've consumed alcohol.
I smoke cigarettes.
I smoke pot.
I regularly drink.
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
I've done hard drugs.
I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
I take cough meds when I'm not sick.
I can't swallow pills.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem

Mental health:

I have been diagnosed with depression.
I shut others out when I'm depressed.
I take anti-depressants.
I have an eating disorder.
I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
I've hurt myself on purpose.
I'm addicted to self harm.
I've woken up crying.

Death:

I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
I have attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.


Random:

I can sing well.
I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others too easily.
I watch the news.
I don't kill bugs. if i can help it...usually i take them back outside.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person. I'm quite happy in the morning
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I'm a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I play with my hair.
I have/had "x"s in my screen name. does that mean ex boyfriends..or the letter x?? well I'm pretty sure i've had both..
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue. depends on the shade of the colour.
I don't know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love. yessss twilighttt comee backkk!!
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes. frequently T_T
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room. depends on the size and type tho
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I'm good at remembering faces.
I'm good at remembering names.
I'm good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
My answers are totally honest.

Last night, I finished the most amazing book of my life, and finally finishing the most amazingly wonderful novel series of my life...

Breaking Dawn The last book of the twilight series: Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse.

It was perfect. Everything was perfect. I was smiling with this goofy smile on my face for the rest of the night.

Edward was perfect

It seems so unfair that such an amazing perfect guy that has captured the hearts of many young women across the word is....

COMPLETELY FICTIONAL T_T T_T

In all honesty, I'm a bit sad to let it end...it means there is no more Edward in my life...

It's also really sad that Edward does not and probably will not ever exist.

How could she be so cruel and create him T_T T_T T_T

What guy has the ability to think "I want to marry you before we make love" nowadays

NONE

Infact guys (at least a certain one does >_>) think its okay to be doing things like this after 3 months of being together... HOW CAN U POSSIBLY KNOW A PERSON IN THREE MONTHS WELL ENOUGH TO LOVE THEM ENOUGH TO WANT TO DO THAT WITH THEM...UNLESS!! You had some ulterior motive:

~ curiosty
~ overly horny
~ just wanted to experience that
~ wanted to feel good...

In my personal opinion (you may disagree) when u decide you want to do that with a person it has to be because you LOVE them. You want to know everything about them, you want to do it for them! Make them feel good by showing them how much u love them by loving everything.

AND MOST OF ALL!!

Because at this point in time that other person is your life, because experiencing this with that other person is the greatest joy in the world, because this person is the person you want to be with forever (even if u can't or u dont end up that way..it's important that at the time, this is how you feel)

I find it really hard, that a guy who wants to do that with me, after being in a relationship for only three months...could possibly be asking me to do that with him because he loves me

Regardless of what he says

So, that is the reason I always said no.


The conclusion I have come to from reading about Edward and why he is so perfect...
is that...It takes over 100 years for a guy to figure out what love is and what it means to love someone.

Over 100 years, for a guy to become a gentleman

haha I'm really slack to guys I know

but considering my experiences, I'd say my narrow minded opinionated views, are justified.

Every girl deserves to be loved by someone the way bella is loved by Edward.

passionate, everlasting and selfless

If anyone knows a guy like that please let me know~

I have hope there has to be some Edward out there for me...In order for Stephanie Meyer to come up with that character...she had to get her ideas from somewhere right right???

Sooo
I didnt see trainstation guy yesterday...argh utter tragedy...I was so upset but meh I got over it...

Before I forget to rant about this I might do it now...FINALLY I CAN CHANGE MY JOURNAL USERNAME!!! But what now..?? I have to ppppayyyy!?!?! CANT THEY SEE THAT ME CHANGING MY USERNAME WOULD DO US ALL A FAVOUR!!!...I never liked my username to start with but i really couldn't think of anything else to call myself.

Anyways...

So i got Breaking Dawn yesterday from my friend Michelle and OMG ITS AWESOME!!! I was so afraid she was losing her touch coz I didn't get as wrapped up in the other books she wrote after twilight, so i thought maybe she was losing her touch...BUT IT IS SO BACK! This last book..is so far....absolutely AMAZING!!! I'm hooked and Hooked and everly so once again obsessed with edward the pinnacle of all MEN!!!!! ahhh he is so gorgeous!! i feel so sorry for all the guys out there who have to compete against all the girls wishings and longings of Edward...Sorry guys, u can't match up! Secondly I feel sorry for all the girls who will never find their Edward!!!!!! STEPHANIE MEYER!! HOW COULD U GIVE US SUCH FALSE HOPE!!! LOL

In my dreams edward exists *freaky smile*

Also yesterday jinho decided to talk to me on msn...coz i decided to unblock him tho he was still deleted from my list it means I can never start convos with him, so he can start them with me. Which shouldn't really matter, I mean he only likes to talk when it suits him right, oh yes when he has no one else to talk to he might as well use me a bit more...yeah so pessimistic... HEY! even bella did it about Edward so I'm allowed to do it too!!! Girls like me...and like bella too...emotionally heavy girls I guess, will generally think the worse of guys intentions first...even tho there is the other side or maybe he talked to me because he wanted to, because he misses me and maybe because he loves me

Well whatever, he should make his mind clear instead of wishy washy every day.

Its like he's doing the same thing on his cyworld...positing up pictures and long poems about love and sadness...is he trying to tell me something??? WHY doesn't he just tell me then instead of keeping it to himself...why not just be truthful to me...
Like for instance his display picture is of a little caucasian girl crying she has brown eyes like me and brown hair like me and underneath he wrote *this is taken from google translator* "Even when crying you are still beautiful" in Korean
Is he making reference to when I cried to him on the last time we met before he left? Or is there some new Korean chick hes met? And on his cyworld these long poems that go to pictures of couples kissing, or nature, or a painting or something...I cant understand whats happening...what hes writing about

I should just ignored it right? Not get too caught up. If he really wants me to know these things He will and SHOULD tell me..

Who knows maybe they are directed to someone else...after all one of this picture poem things is titled: Guilty

Hmm anyways, i've been pretty proud of myself, coz i haven't missed him too much and its like the only times I do think about him is when I am not doing anything else.

Its really no bad at all, especially compared to what it use to be and what I use to be like when we first broke up

There are no more tears now which is good...I was seriously getting sick of that

Well anyways i'm starving and I need to eat lunch...then do some uni work..then get my camera fixed, then read more Breaking Dawn. YAY!

Hi hi hi

wow 3 posts in 3 days...miracle right?
hahaha

I should be doing my university readings and having a shower but I am somewhat inspired to blog. LOL I was just looking at my journal...and the sight of half naked yamapi pics made me laugh...coz I'm so not the type of person who would post pics like that on her blog...*even tho i might save them secretly on my computer*

Secondly upon looking at those photos....ASIAN + CAUCASIAN COUPLES = HOT!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry but those two just look completely hot...man would they have hot kids...half asian kids are seriously hot...seriously many many many famous celebrities that are half asian are really gorgeous....ahhhh~ lol

So I'm also pretty proud of myself - I'm on top of my uni work, I've been on msn a lot less, I'm not missing korea boy...tho i started feeling a lil nostalgic (not even sure what that word means) a moment ago because of him..anyway I had a good day today, even tho my 8-shot photostory for image and sound just got deleted from my camera ahhh the horror~~~!!! Kyoungjae!!!!!!!!! I need u as my actor again!!!! hehehe u should see him act hes so cute..I told him "look lonely" and the face he did was so cutte i couldn't help myself I just said to him "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW U LOOK SO CUTE!!!!!!!" hahaha it was really fun ^_^

So tomorrow i'm wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that I will see trainstation guy hehehe....I WAS SO HORRIFIED when I turned up for uni on the monday of the beginning of semester 2 only to find HE WAS NOT THERE AT THE STATION!!! IMAGINE HOW EVEN MORE HORRIFIED I WAS WHEN HE DIDN"T TURN UP ON TUES, WED, THURS, AND FRI!!! I WAS SO UPSET!!!! I was like the random meetings and bumping into eachother has disappeared!!! It just felt like I had some weird connection with him...I MEAN I BUMPED INTO HIM IN STRATHFIELD!!! I NEVER GO THERE!!!! i only went there coz the trains were screwed on the northern line and I had to catch a train to strathfield then get off and catch a bus back home, AND HE WAS THERE IN FRONT OF ME!!! IN THE BUS LINE!!!! ON A WEEKEND!!! IT WASN"T EVEN A UNI DAY!!! Luckily I looked really hot - coz i'd just come back from seeing korea boy on the day when he practically ignored me (long story), so i was EXTREMELY upset and pissed off on the way back AND THEN THERE HE WAS!!!! LIKE AN ANGEL!!! bopping his head cutely to music~! He totally just made my day better *sigh*

Anyways I did end up bumping into traistation guy last fri when I was leaving my last lecture and i thought "YES!! The random bumping into eachother HAS NOT CEASED!!!" So I want to see him tomorrow!!! I've been keeping an eye out for him alllllllll weekkkkkkkkk!!!! Friday is the only day I have a chance of seeing him!!!!!!

He looks like yamapi~ oh so fiiinee~!

Anyways i better have a shower then plonk off to bed so tired~~

OKAY! I know I am a fan girl when it comes to some of my favourite actors and musicians especially...asian ones as we all know.. Anyways, so lately I am really into Yamapi aka yamshita tomohisa...seriously hes a gorgeous guy.

Recently he did a photoshoot in which he posed naked-ish with a caucasian girl.

At first when I saw the photoshoot I was like ohhh woah i didn't expect him to do something like that but uts not like i felt overwhelming disappointment or was majorly pissed at the girl...if anything I thought 1) "Ohhh yay!! caucasian with an asian!! woo!! It totally looks hot I'm in luck!" 2) "Well shes not THAT pretty...it gives me more of a chance with hot asian guys hehehe" 3) "Awww man that girl is sooooo lucky I am so jealous wish i could be in that spot"

Those are normal thoughts of a fan right?? Its not tooo much...but it also shows I am a fan.. WHAT I REALLY HATE IS THOSE FRICKEN PSYCHOTIC FAN GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!! OMG THEY DRIVE ME INSANE

firstly heres some of the pictures:





these are typical photos that usually send fangirls into psycho possessive mode...

and here are examples of psycho annoying fangirls

1.
SHIT
THAT STUPID GIRL NEEDS TO FIND HER OWN MAN!
so jealous ><
but so sexy

2.
Grr I am so jealous of that hakujin! She probably doesnt even know who Yamapi is…!

3.
I know i’am too late…
But WHAT THE DAMIN HELL WAS THAT :@
who is that baka girl??
how dare those ANANs puplish this “><
I NEVER thought YamaPi is this sort of guys T-T
I was soo happy’cause I heard he doesn’t like to do
NG but now…..:crush:

4.
Shit .. Why the hell did pi took this shots !?!? it is sooooo not suited to him … grrrr …. hate that girl … HE NEEDS TO BE WHOLESOME GYA !!! >,<

5.
ooooooooooo…
so SAD (TT)….he broke my bez friend’s heart…

it’s all b’coz…ANNO KUSSO AMA(THAT BITCH)…BAKA!!!
BUKOROSHITE YARU YO!!!!

I HATE IT SOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHH….

6.
Disgusting .. Very bad

I hate such things ..

Islam religion .. Prohibits such acts, which brings diseases

7.
Damn baka!!!

i didn’t EXPECT him will do this such thingy..

so out of the box though!!!

he brokes his fan hearts..serously

i mean it!!!!


8.
i absolutely hate it when celebrities do this. there’s a lot of underaged kids who support him and when he does this…well it’s different you know? i’m not pretty happy about these pics because 1) i’m a fangirl and prone to extreme jealousy 2) he’s forced to do this. can’t you see from his awkwardness?? celebrities shouldn’t be forced to do anything they don’t want especially with this kind of stuff! and 3) WTF???

GAH!
so damn pissed.

he lost so MANY fans just cause of these pictures.

can’t his music industry do something more important than make him look like he’s sex-crazed??

>:O

9.
OMBB!!! i hate that girlll!! and yamapi’s manager who made him take those nasty picturess!! *crys* broke my heart!! Why would they do that??! they broke more than 6000 fangirls hearts!! including minesss!!

10.
TT^TT
I believe that many fans hearts hav been shattered
but we cant stay angry at him, its yamapi

WTF!!

i hate her
that bitch

hehehe

11.
OMG. He is beyond sexy. still i dont think that chick has the right to be there with my yamapi. i want to be in here place………..gods he is so hot……..sorry, major yamapi obsession right now……ill get over it later…..then it will just fade into the backround……..why did he post these pictures with such an ugly girl?? she is not hot and takes away from the totally kickassness of the pics………


First and foremost i'd like to say a big

GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It really isn't the end of the world!!

Argh it's really so immature. And it is really slack to blame the girl..heck she probably doesn't even know who YAMAPI IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She didn't purposely plan to have a sexy naked photoshoot with yamapi just to piss all his fangirls off with the evil intention of making him "impure" GOSH GIRLS GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

To BAKA! No. 1
Its completely normal to feel jealous...but as for directing the blame on the girl...its really just immature and pointless to hate someone for that...SHES not intending to steal Yamapi, and if she did it means that HE would have agreed with it.

To BAKA No. 2
There is no need to call the girl a hakujin (i have no idea what it means but it sounds like a racial comment), I mean just coz a non asian girl did a photoshoot with yamapi...its not a sin or anything...did u find the need to call her that coz ur asian and you feel inferior to caucasian girls (if so there is no need I am not asian and I think asian girls a super cute) but most asian guys i know have told me they think caucasian girls look better but dont date them because caucasian girls are hard for them to get coz they prefer caucasian guys to asian...so maybe thats why you felt the need to use that word? Anyways...I just wish ur comment wasn't so directed on the fact she ISN'T ASIAN! I dated a korean guy and I'm not asian...does that make me less worthy of his affections? Does that make our relationship wrong? Secondly WHO FRICKEN CARES WHETHER OR NOT SHE KNOWS YAMAPI! The fact that u agreed she doesn't know him further states u more in the wrong COZ SHE HAD NO PLANS TO PURPOSELY TAKE A PHOTO WITH HIM IF SHE DOESN"T EVEN KNOW HIM!.

To BAKA No. 3
YOU ARE THE BAKA!! Who cares who the bloody girl is!! If it wasn't her, he would have done a photoshoot with another girl *sigh*
ANAN has a right to publish anything they want...infact they probably came up with this idea...
Dude Yamapi is a celebrity! It's part of his job to take photoshoots...it doesn't say anything about his character.

To BAKA No. 4
Read previous comments to other baka's in regards to ur hate towards the girl...and MAYBE HE WANTED TO DO THE SHOTS!!!!! You dont even know him how do u know whats suited to him or not

To BAKA No. 5
How can it possibly break ur friends heart...she probabvly hasn't even met or spoken to yamapi before or in a close relationship with him... I'm sure she will live
YOU ARE THE WORST TYPE OF FANGIRL I REALLY HATE!!!!!! Get over yourself, get over the photoshoot, get over the fact the girl is probably ten times hotter than u are which is why you are so jealous and filled with hate...SHES A MODEL ITS HER JOB...HES A MODEL ITS HIS JOB!

To BAKA No. 6
It's not that disgusting.. shes wearing clothes and technically they aren't doing anything that bad..it could be a LOT worse.
Secondly, everyone doesn't believe in Islam religion. I think we need to respect and understand that every person believes in something different, so if you dont agree, then dont look. Other people on the other hand don't believe ur views so they are free to look.

To BAKA No. 7

He didn't break my heart and I'm his fan. I didn't expect that either...but he didn't do it thinking "Oh lets break my fans hearts today"
It's a job, HIS job..just like a tax payers job is to collect tax even when a person is too poor and cant afford it...he doesn't want to break those peoples hearts but he has to coz its his job.

Personally I think it shows that yamapi isn't afraid to show that he is INDEED human like everyone else.


To BAKA No. 8
I dont really like it when celebrities do this either. The reason why i added ur comment to the baka list was coz of ur second reason...ur the over protective fangirl.. firstly I HARDLY believe he was forced to do this. If he really didn't want to do it he wouldn't have done it. Also if his target fans were younger boys that look up to him, then the company wouldn't have wanted to do this to make him lose his fans. The reality is, his fanbase most likely comprises of psychotic fangirls who fantasise about yamapi. I mean every fangirl LIKES what they see of yamapi in these pictures...I mean cmon hes pure hotness!! AND MOST of them althought dissappointed have taken their rage out on the girl, and forgiven yamapi. Also I don't think yamapi looks that awkward...if anything I think the girl looks more awkward especially in the shower scene. Secondly japanese people wouldn't want the images to look too passionate and raunchy...I mean have u see the kisses in dramas? they basically stand there with their lips touching, its like two skeletons there are no emotions..I believe these images also displays this. The probs both were a little awkward...but cmon..hes a guy, shes a hot girl... he cant have been TOO worried about it. I mean how many of us would be worried if we were doing a photoshoot with a really hot guy...especially if that guy were yamapi.

i don't think he lost too many fans...I mean this isn't a big deal, it'd be a big deal if these were REAl images of Yamapi's favourite hobbies or something..

Secondly I agree with the music industry tending to make things so sexed crazed. it is annoying and I find it uneccessary, but he never is usually sex craze..infact he is perceived as wholesome and innocent. Maybe he felt too much pressure being thought of as that innocent, maybe hes making a statement? maybe he is showing his fans a little bit more of himself, showing them that he too is only human and not this great ideal person fangirls make of him in their mind.


To BAKA No. 9

argh please refer to comments above.

To BAKA No 10
refer to above comments...and there no need to hate or call the girl a bitch..give her a break, yamapi is doing exactly the same things as her, if u forgive yamapi its kinda hypocritical not to forgive the girl.

To BAKA No. 11
Shes not ugly...you're just jealous of her...true shes not the most drop dead gorgeous person, but shes definitely not ugly.


OKAY I think I'm done tra la la

So...I've resorted back to Livejournal for blogging....lately I've been writing on my cyworld...no I'm not Korean and yes I have managed to make an account...despite not being Korean LOL but...now something things I can't write on there because of a certain SOMEONE being able to read it... *sigh*

So...this is why I am here...in a way, I guess I can think about it the same way as cyworld...personally I can't figure out what makes cyworld more appealing to blog in.. but anyway here is good (although I have some unwanted friends in my friends list) I'm sure, that no one really reads this anyway...sometimes I like to blog when I know people are reading ..but I don't actually know the people who are reading my blog..if that makes any sense whatsoever....basically I'd rather people read my blog who haven't met me and have no connection with my life whatsoever..than people who do know me (THIS EXCLUDES CLOSE FRIENDS - I dont mind them reading it of course).

Sooooo anyways, there comes a time when people just cant take things anymore...chances run out and suddenly there is no more to give..and suddenly you just dont care about the person anymore...it's kinda amazingly weird how things work like that...it's funny coz I look back on things and I'm like hahaha I can't even believe I got so upset about that..coz now it just means nothing to me like it doesn't even affect me in any way...so I guess I've kinda decided to do the same once again... I'm not sure if I'll regret this decision though.

Of all the times, I've been in a relationship its a small number...(about 5) I've generally regretted things I've done and tried to make up, with the person a while after the event has happened...It happened with James, Aaron I've now apologised with them, and another person...one i dont regret and now there is this one which I'm not sure I will regret or not...it kinda seems a shame to lose the relationship completely coz it was such a good goood gooooooooooood one. But quite frankly...he keeps on f**king up and I'm pretty much done with giving out chances and now I dont really care anymore ...(it may or may not have to do with a certain someone who i catch the train with and hope everyday to bump into him at uni)

It's weird as well i cared right until he left the country and then when he left it's like my feelings went with him? I dont really understand why!!!? seriously I can't figure it out..maybe it's some internal realisation that I knew he had to leave anyway but yeah its like the feelings have gone ( I think however if his jerk transformation never occured I would still like him) but yeah..now its just like woah..gone...and sometimes I feel guilty because of the fact I actually do feel like the feelings have gone..and also coz I'm chasing after another person...so soon after he actually left...

BUT

I know I shouldn't feel guilty at all!!! Because he did turn into a jerk...like hes one of those guys u see in movies that the girl really really likes and one day he'll be perfect to her and love her and then the next its like a completely different person, he will lie to her and ignore her....but the thing is...I find it hard to believe that he is actually that type of person because at the beginning he was genuinely nice...and he doesn't seem like a bad person...so I dunno if he changed coz its his way of dealing with the concept of me and him having to break up and him going away or what...

Anyway regardless, I know I deserve someone better...and I just hope someone out there exists for me!! The perfectly imperfect person hahaha

If anything good has come out of these relationships its definitely the experiences and what I have learnt:

1. NEVER go out with someone you dont actually like (EVEN IF U ARE CONFUSED!! BE SURE!!!!)
2. No matter what people say RELATIONSHIPS ruin FRIENDSHIPS!!! When I say ruin I mean sure u can still be friends with the person after, BUT it is seriously different!!! It can never be the same as what it was before u got together.
3. Be careful when u go out with someone who is a foreigner...it's complicated...feelings are complicated...and the relationship is full of doubt...UNLESS of course both people agree to having a fling..however if your trying to have a serious relationship when u kno you have to break up anyway you often find yourself thinking "whats the point of this relationship" I am not completely opposed to going out with someone who is from overseas like I am with someone you are not sure u actually like, for example if I was older and in a position to keep the relationship going coz i thought I'd be getting ready to settle down for marriage or something I'd probably still engage in a relationship
4. I believe I have actually loved someone..

Maybe I dont want to get rid of him forever, it's just right now I know if I'm on msn he will come and and he will talk and then it just feels like he plays with me only talking when he feels like with everything on his terms. And I know it wont work if I just not talk to him on msn...coz he WILL start a convo and I WILL reply...

BTW! I have most likely written things that do not make sense...I was spluging my mind and cant be bothered to proof read haha

Sometimes I get annoyed with people that just want to study all the time…and see themselves better than others because of the amount they study and as a result how much more knowledge they gain because of it. I’m not one for study…I seriously just can’t do it…it’s so boring…so if I do not do so well in the HSC I see it as my lack of ability to study rather than “smarts” coz I’m good at learning things when I put my mind to it.

Anyways there have been a few people I have met, who see themselves better than other even to the point of calling the whole grade “lazy” just because they don’t study as psychotically (lol) as these people. Or even “I don’t need friends who don’t study” and then choosing study over going to a friends birthday party..or even just going out with your friends or even spending lunchtimes at school studying instead of sitting with your friends.

So to these people I find myself just wanting to say

“I’d rather enjoy my life, than be studying...I don’t have anything to learn from you, because everything you say/know is written in a textbook!”

When you look at it this way..it kinda makes these kinds of people seem “hollow” don’t ya think? They have no substance besides what is already thought of and written by someone else in a textbook. Really everyone does need to have a balance..hard work and sacrifices of outings sometimes but not everytime.

Everyone says oh you just have to study hard for one year… this isn’t true, you still have to study hard for University..then after Uni what happens…you’re off to work…and working hard, overtime, maybe even on weekends…why do I want to be working my whole life!??!!

Don’t get me wrong, I completely admire smart people. I have a friend she’s sooo smart, smartest girl in the grade, she works hard, yet she doesn’t sacrifice the fun times and spending time with her friends just to study. It’s just the condescending up themselves people that annoy me hahaha.

Anyways this was meant to be written o herre a while ago but I never got the chance...and then i was watching GTO and was inspired to write about it again LOL

also i haven't read over it so it probs doesn't make sense

finally schoolies was AWESOME best fricken time ever i cried because i didn't want to leave and now I miss my friends SOO MUCH!! I got use to being with them everyday haha wow..it was just fantastic..beach...transportation adventures...other adventures, dares, truth, d&m's, no faggy dickheaded guys to annoy me, did stupid things, ate yummy food, party, drank (alcohol), HOT nextdoor neighbours..HOT HOT HOT specially one in particular...man you should have seen him playing tennis with his shirt off and he had the MOST coolest hair in the world it was like mohawk kinda sooo cooooollll >_< oh and even hotter schoolies flings, pashing my friends hahaha without being drunk lol, oh and an amazing adventure to the island (ok more of a sandbank) COVERED WITH CRABS!!!!!!! it was like a horror movie anyways we then ventured from this sandbank to the island on the other side and tried to cross the island to the other side but didn't succeed gosh there was SO MANY trees and bugs and where like trying to get through these trees man everyone had scratches EVERYWHERE friends falling in quicksand which turned black (very gross) helping friends out of it...and finally FINDING A DESERTED BEACH!!! AMAZINGLY WONDERUL!!! then returning to the beach at night with vodka, orange juice and cowboys, playing a truth game and taking shots to everything that was true/somone had done, in the middle of a circle of tealight candles shining away into the darkness of the night!! MAN SO AMAZING!! until we freaked eachother out with what we thought was a search light from the police which in actual fact was a beam from a lighthouse LOL
then walking from our deserted beach to our resort was scary as!!! and this random guy poping literally out of no where "how you doing girls" OMG IT WAS SO FREAKY! haha but wayyy fun! ahh sunburn, tan, airbrush tattoos, streaks in hair, SINGSTAR!!, BUZZ, DVDS, Beauty and the Geek, America's next top model, channel V and copying dancemoves, mopping floors, cleaning dishes, making dinner ALL OF IT WAS JUST SO MUCH FUN!! Oh and TRIVIA!! My group aced the first night!! and did alright the second night until the last night was fricken AUSTRALIAN HISTORY! LIKE GOSH WHO KNOWS THAT MUCH ABOUT AUSRALIA!!! So in the end we came third...but we didn't really want a bottle of champagne anyways.

really, wonderfully amazing.